It is with pain and disappointment for me to announce that Magical Girl Dallas is going to be on indefinite hiatus.
I will spare the trials and tribulations on the behind the scenes aspect of MGD’s development, as I do not want to put the blame on anyone else, as its torturous development was entirely my responsibility.
First off, and this should come as no surprise to anyone: doing short episodic stories over such a long period of time sucks. It was never my intention to come out with a single episode per year, but due to circumstances that’s what wound up happening. This undoubtedly became an annoyance to you readers, I imagine, considering the small amount of content coming out not equaling the wait for it. It also sucked for me because the story became a ball and chain attached to my ankle. The longer it took to develop the story, the more it became this ever growing mountain that I was nowhere near properly equipped to tackle.
I was only ever able to get as far as I did because after finishing each episode, I felt some sense of accomplishment and proud of my work. It was always hell going in, but the satisfaction made it worthwhile. However, with the wrap of up Episode 7 last year, I did not feel satisfied with what I had written. From start to finish I had to metaphorically drag myself to the desk and continue writing because I felt that no matter what, I had to finish the story. “Just keep writing. You don’t want to disappoint everyone who’s been reading,” I’d tell myself.
Not once did I feel any enjoyment writing Episode 7 unlike previous episodes. Not to say it was always a fun experience writing them, either. There were plenty of times where I had hit a wall and would wrack my brain for days trying to write something down, only to have an epiphany and figure it out. It’s a hell of a high when you manage to solve a problem with a story you’re writing.
With Episode 7, none of the solutions I came up with felt right. But progress was being made! So it’s fiiiine! Right?
It burnt me out. I can’t think of Magical Girl Dallas without feeling utter rejection from my gut. I’ll try rereading previous episodes to refresh my mind and bail hard. It all reads so terrible to me.
This could be attributed to having taken so damn long in writing this story. For reference, I began writing this in 2014 when I was 24 years old. It is now almost seven years later. Almost a decade since I started working on this. Five years since I released the first two episodes.
So I’m left with few options in regards to Magical Girl Dallas. One option is to just force myself to wrap the story up and get it out of the way so I can move onto new pastures and try writing new stuff. This risks me writing something I do not care about for the sole purpose of getting it out of the way, and having it show in the writing itself. If what I manage to write turns out to be mediocre, it risks ruining everything that came before it. Think how Game of Thrones ended.
Alternatively, I could walk away for now with a cliffhanger, work on something else or another for the time being, and then maybe one day come back to see if I can conclude Magical Girl Dallas.
With respect for the material and you the readers, I would prefer to leave it at a cliffhanger for now.
It’s shitty. I know it. It fucking sucks. An investment in not only time, but money, with no payoff. But I don’t want to shit out a sorry excuse for a conclusion and go “Okay, whatever, here it is.”
I’ve been unable to work on anything new in terms of writing because the shadow of Magical Girl Dallas lingers over my shoulder. All I’ve been able to do is work on Bodysuit 23, and scripts for short gag comic strips. Any time I try to think of a new novel, or a short story, I go “What about Magical Girl Dallas?” It is a giant boulder that’s been sitting on my back for a very long time, and I feel if I want to get better as a writer and perhaps one day manage to become an actual author and get published, I can’t keep holding onto it. A legit fear of mine is being unable to write anything else in the future because of my inability to finish Magical Girl Dallas, and sitting at my desk in my 70s, going “I have accomplished nothing.”
I do not regret writing Magical Girl Dallas. While it has brought about a lot of suffering, it too has given me a lot of joy over the years. From seeing people enjoy it, to the feeling of improvement as a storyteller with each progressing work.
It has also taught me a lot of valuable lessons when it comes to writing that I plan to take with me in my future endeavors. Biggest one being “Do not write episodic content! AT ALL! If you want to tell a story, get the entire thing down in one go! If you finish a story and want to keep writing more with the same cast and characters afterward, then fine. But ONLY after you finish the first story so if nothing else comes after it, then it can work as a stand alone work.”
I hope to one day return to Dallas and friends and conclude their adventures. But the person I am at this moment is not the person who can successfully finish their story.
Until then, Cookie will be eagerly waiting to see you all again.
